How to Win Friends, Influence People, Crush Competition and Kick Ass At Life!!

How to Win Friends, Influence People, Crush Competition and Kick Ass At Life!!

This is whats Tattooed on My Collar Bone. So I never forget :)

This is whats Tattooed on My Collar Bone. So I never forget 🙂

One of my favorite books of all time is “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie. Today, I am going to break this down for you Steve Wolf style and add my own little Part to the series, we will call it Part 5) “How to crush the competition and kick ass at life!”

You could go out and read the entire book, but I promise you what you are about to read is way more fun then the book that was written in 1936. But when you are done reading the blog, if you still want to buy it, I’ll post an amazon link at the bottom.

Ok, now were we go, my little summary + Some!

Part 1) Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

1. Don’t criticize, complain, or come off being a whiney little B^%$* No one likes that

2. Give honest an honest and sincere appreciation to the person, and even if you think what they are talking about is total bullshit, try to find the best part of it and work with that.

3. Make the other person WANT to get to know you better. (Hint*** This is done by being interesting, if you are not interesting, get to doing some interesting stuff with your life so you have something to talk about. Just don’t be boring because no one want to hang out with boring people.)

 

Part 2) 6 Ways to make people like you

1. Genuinely be interested and give a shit about what people tell you!

2. Smile, and not in a weird creeper way

3. Remember the person’s name. Hint*** Say it to yourself 6 times and then bring it up 3 more times in the immediate conversation and you will never forget it. It works for me 99%  of the time. For example “So Doug, that’s an interesting name, why did your folks name you that, was it after some one famous???”

4. Listen for god sakes!!!!! Let a person just talk about themselves, they will tell you everything that you need to know to get them to do what you want them to.  If you give them long enough, they will tell you their dreams, goals, ambitions etc.

5. When the other person brings up what their interested in, find common ground and ask them questions about that. For Example “Oh you skydive? Me to!! How many jumps do  you have and what got you in to the sport?

6. Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely. This is the most important, if you master this, you can almost skip steps 1-5

 

Part 3) Win People to your way of thinking

1. Avoid argumentation at all costs. Probably helps if you don’t mention Religion,  or Politics, Sex is ok sometimes given the right circumstances.

2. Respect others opinions and viewpoints even if they are absolutely ridiculous. Do you want to be right, or do you want to win?

3. When wrong, admit it quickly and apologize.

4. Get the other person to keep saying “yes” and them let them keep talking and thinking that the came to the conclusion or idea of the conversation themselves.

5. Put yourself in their shoes, and see the world as they do!

6. Throw down a challenge.

 

Part 4) Be a Leader: How to Change people without offending them or arousing resentment.

1. Begin with Praise and Humility all the time. Remember where you came from!

2. When calling attention to others mistakes, do it indirectly, and talk about your own mistakes that you have made before you go it to their shortcomings.

3. Ask questions instead of giving orders as to get buy-in from the person or people.

4. Always let the person save face and praise them for even the slightest improvement. DO NOT bullshit this either, they will know, do it genuinely or not at all.

5. Give the other person a solid reputation to live up to. Use encouragement and make all faults seem easy to correct.

6. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

 

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Part 5) — My Part — How to Crush the Competition and kick ass at life.

Quick note if I may… What I am about to share with you is from my own personal experience meaning that I have done these things myself and live by them. I would never tell you or suggest anything to you that I have not done time and again mastering the skill!

1. Study your competition / enemy.

2.Live as they do, model them

3. Find weakness’ and take notes

4. Plan the attack carefully and collectively and set aside any emotion, pain, or fear associated with the task at hand.

5. Execute

6. Fight till you die, and if you’re not willing to die for it,(or see it through to the end) it’s not important to you and should go back to playing video games because you’re not ready to play in the big boy’s game and you’ll get hurt or worse.        

Note*** When you get to the point in your life where your own “self competition” in your head is greater than any real competition in the physical world, you are truly unstoppable. If you’re not there yet follow the steps above until you are.

Now on kicking ass at life, here is 10 awesome ways.

1.Never give up

2. Always finish what you start.

3. If you want to be the best, then you have to work harder than whom ever is the best currently. Meaning if the “best” trains 3 hours a day, I need to go 3 hours and 1 minute.

4. Never walk away from a situation feeling like you should have said or done something but were too afraid to speak up. The emotional pain lasts way longer than the physical pain that might ensue in a situation like that.

5. All you have is today. Fuck the past, it’s not who you are, and fuck the future because it hasn’t happened yet. BE HERE NOW, this is the ONLY day you have.

6. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. What almost kills you makes humble, and what kills you, kills you, so don’t get killed.

7. Sometimes in life you have to eat a shit sandwich, so if you do, eat it fast and have a good attitude about it.

8. 99.9% of the time you can be right or you can be happy. So choose wisely, and remember that 0.01% odds are really shitty!

9. Choose your battles very wisely.

10. Eat well everyday, Sleep at least 6 hours per night, have sex 2-4 times per week and tell your friends and your family that you love them and appreciate them at every chance you get

Now go out there and apply some of this information that you have learned. This shit works for me and I want it to work for you, in fact I want you to come up with better stuff so I can log on to your blog one day and read about how something I wrote motivated you to do something different and great, and then you took it a step further, innovated on something I wrote, did, or said and made it better. It’s 2013 ladies and gentlemen and the world is not going to slow down. It will only get faster, and the more you feel left behind, the worse off you are. So get up, dust yourself off, and get back in the fight because we have a revolution to start.

I challenge anyone to apply these principles for the next 7 days. Record a 1-3 minute video of how utilizing these steps helped you, and I will feature you on my blog and  I will give you a $25 -$100!

Here are the submission Requirements:

1. Upload the Video to You and link it to This blog post. (http://aefwolf.wpengine.com/?p=679)

2. Include my name and your name in your video and what steps you utilized in a specific situation to help you

3. Send me an email with the link to your Youtube video. email to [email protected] (Make sure to also send me your Pay pal email SO I CAN PAY YOU!)

4. I will pay you $25-$100 based on the creativity, story, and hits on your youtube. Any video that has over 300 hits before July 10th 2013 will automatically get the $100

5. I will pay out unlimited money for all good content. There will be no limit to submissions. So keep em coming.

I’d tell you good luck, but I don’t believe in luck, so go do it and get PAID SON!

 

If your interested in training on these things and joining forces with me on the application of these steps in your daily life as well please contact me through my blog and lets see what we can do together.

If you want more in-depth information like this, stay tuned for the podcast that will be starting in a couple of weeks or go check out my latest book “The Young Entrepreneurs Guide to Life” which can be found in the “Store” section of my website.

Thanks for taking the time to read this and I am looking forward to hearing your stories!!!!

 

Sincerely,

MySigniture

 

 

 

 

 

and if your still interested in reading HTWF&IP Here is the Book Link if your still interested

Click on Image to Buy Book

Click on Image to Buy Book

 

Finding My Paradise, My Path to Spiritual Enlightenment

Finding My Paradise, My Path to Spiritual Enlightenment

Sipping Coconuts under Palm Trees

Sipping Coconuts under Palm Trees in Thailand

After a little over a month in Bali, I am returning home. The beautiful sunsets, amazing surf, and sipping coconuts under palm trees while meditating about life are going to come to end.

A part of me is toying with the idea of just staying out here. I love it so much and there is everything I need out here to be happy. I know that I will return again and I have been looking in to just buying a place out here so I can just live out here a couple of months out of the year.

The only draw back is that out here is life is so slow and easy-going that I would imagine it would be hard for me to get things done. It is such a quality problem. When you live in paradise and you have everything you need, there is not a lot of motivation to work and strive for new things. It’s like a never-ending vacation for those who live here, and that’s the seduction of this place. Bali has a way of taking you out of your environment, and then slowing you down to the pace and way of life here. It is the only place on the planet that has been able to do that to me. I am an A-Type personality full of passion, motivation and an undying sense of urgency to get things done. After about a week out here, all I am motivated to do is Surf, read, write and meditate. With the occasional outings with friends and hitting a club here and there; a good time to me is sleeping in, surfing, reflecting, and then just enjoying a good conversation with some interesting people, and this place has no shortage of them.

People usually ask me what I miss about my country when I travel, I always have to stop and think about it because I have conditioned myself to live in the moment for so long I usually don’t find myself ever missing a place, instead, I always end missing the people who I have met over the years throughout my adventures. California is my home though. I was born and raised there and it is a part of me. It’s not a bad place to end up and compared to a lot of the places I’ve been to in the world, and I am extremely grateful to come home to San Diego where I reside currently.

The world is getting smaller. Technology allows me to stay connected with all of the people I have met all over the world and when you break it down, I can get anywhere I want to on this planet in about 2 days (unless your going to the middle of Siberia). Everything is a plane flight away. This makes me extremely grateful, because the ability for common people to travel to far corners of the earth has only been around for about 70 years. 100 years ago, if you wanted to go to Europe from America, you were going to have to take a carriage or car to a boat and then embark on a 1-2 month voyage just to get to some place. Only people who were rich were able to afford such a voyage. To be able to scale that amount of time down to just a couple of days and couple thousand bucks to leave for months at a time is fucking amazing to me. I mean I hop on a plane in LA, and 6 movies and 10 cranberry juices later, I am half way around the world immersed in a foreign land where everything is different, and to me that experience alone is one of the most exhilarating and fulfilling things I have ever experienced in this life. If you are a traveler, you know exactly what I am talking about, and if not, maybe it’s high time you spin a globe, pick a destination and get out of your comfort zone.

Paradise is defined as “a place or state of bliss, felicity or delight.” It is not necessarily attached to a location and although it can be, I believe that Paradise is found within ones soul. Buddhists call it Nirvana, Christians call it heaven, Jews call it Shamayim, but to me, it all means the same thing. Like I had mentioned before about living in the moment, I am not terribly concerned with what will happen to me in the after-life or even the future really. I have subscribed to the concept of living as if I were going to die tomorrow and planning as if I am going to live forever. Spending a massive amount of time pontificating about the unknown afterlife and future can be fun an enlightening at times, but the idea of dedicating a continual amount of time to this is both boring and unfulfilling to me.

The truth is that I am alive now. Time is made up, safety is an illusion, and although some humans claim it, I have never been 100% convinced that were going anywhere but 6-Feet under when we die, and we will die, the day will absolutely come so no need to fear that either. The hypothetical clock is ticking and has been for a long time. So, instead of worrying about all that noise, I just live every single day to the fullest seeking to find truth and experiencing every single person, place, thing or idea I can immerse myself in while my soul occupies this body.

My beliefs and principles are negotiable, and as a result of that I have been able to experience and do things that I don’t think most people get to in their lifetime. I studied world religions for years, went to Israel, read the Koran, hung with Pastors and Spiritual Guru’s, traveled throughout South East Asia and was open to the idea of adopting any belief system that got me closer to my understanding of God. The funny thing is that after all that, my underlying spiritual belief remained the same. It was the simple belief in a Higher Power of my own understanding, a principal introduced to me at the age of 16 years old through a 12-Step program I came in to while getting sober from Alcohol and Drugs.

My path to spirituality has been long, vast and downright tedious at times, but I have approached it with the same enthusiasm and tenacity that I have with everything else in my life never getting to caught up on any one thing and being open to it all believing that all religions and people for that matter are basically good and mean well. To deny or discount anyone’s beliefs would make me just like the people who are shut off, or unwilling to be open to a new understanding, and ultimately will not allow their belief system to be questioned or negotiated no matter how much sense logic makes in spite of what they believe. To me, those are some of the scariest people on Earth; they are the type of people who start wars over that kind of shit.

What this all means is that Paradise, to me at least; is being completely ok with everything exactly that way it is in this very moment. The more I realize that I cannot change anyone and the only real control I have over anything is how I react, and the example I set as a human being, the more easier my life gets. I do want to effect change and help those who want it to reach this kind of spiritual enlightenment, but you cannot force those who don’t want it and to judge those people for not wanting it would be hypocritical, because I spent a large part of my life in that same place.

What ever you believe is totally cool. You don’t have to conform to anyone or any religion’s or societies’ belief system if you don’t want to. You are free to do what you want; after all it is your life. If you are an atheist, agnostic, spiritually conflicted Catholic, or you simply don’t know where you stand, I would urge to seek truth in places you never thought to look before. That’s where I found my faith, and my faith is in no way shape or form affiliated to any one religion, if anything I have taken the teachings and traditions from many religions and use what I like leaving the rest behind. This is how I have found my paradise, my state of Nirvana. I don’t need to be in Bali, or some incredibly beautiful place to reach it either, it is in my soul. Besides, it has been my experience that in the darkest of times when I really needed to tap in to this place and ask my higher power for direction, I’m usually not on vacation or in a place like Bali, I’m in life, dealing with real shit, real problems that need solution. That’s when my faith has counted the most.

One final note, when I do die, which could be tomorrow or in 100 years, I have no fear going to where it is I will go next. To me, that is the ultimate adventure, the one true great unknown besides space. I have lived each and every day to the fullest, I have no beef with my fellow-men, there is no wreckage from my past that has not been cleaned up, there is nothing that I haven’t done that I have wanted to do to this point. Everything I dream up I attempt it no matter how crazy it sounds, I never live with regret or say some bullshit like: “someday I will” or “Ill try,” I only dream and them get to turning that shit in to a reality for me as quickly as possible. This has allowed me to see and experience things I never could have imagined to be possible, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Never let fear dictate your life, if you can dream it, than it’s possible, so never give up hope and continue seeking truth.

See you back on the other side of the World ☺

-Steve

Me at Angkor Wat in Cambodia

Me at Angkor Wat in Cambodia

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