In the great words of the late Perry P. (my friend, mentor and role model in the later part of my formative years) he told me: “Steve, In life, believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see. ”
I have been in business for a long time now. In about two weeks I’ll be 29 years old. I haven’t work a “W-2” type job taking a paycheck since I was 18 years old. First it was my clothing company All Else Failed Ind., I built that company out of front room in my little dingy apartment in South Los Angeles. Everyone told me it was a stupid idea, my partner Justin ended up quitting 6 months in to it, but by the end of the first year, I was selling my clothes in 35 states and out in the UK.
When I was 20 years old, I got in to the financial services business breaking off and starting my firm in 2003, I built that little brokerage in to a company doing 10-15 million a month in transactions. During that time I published my first book about my life growing up which I have now sold thousands of copies of.
When the industry crashed in 2008, my life fell apart. My mentor died, I lost my business leaving me about $140k in debt, parents were struggling, broke up with a girlfriend of 2 years, my best friend at the time screwed me over and a con-artist posing as roommate stole my last $10,000 that I had.
I realized that when I lost all of the material stuff, and my status and prestige was taken from me when life humbled me, the only thing I really had left that mattered to me in my life was my honor, loyalty and integrity. I watched fair weather friends disappear when the money was gone. I lost people who I thought were my friends over money and women. I lost hope at times and was furious with god because I couldn’t understand why he would take such innocent people away from me.
When I finally came in to acceptance about the reality of my life, I began to question everything, the meaning of my life, who my friends were, who I thought I was or was supposed to be, and generally everything.
I made a commitment to myself that no matter what happened, no matter how bad it got, that I would never sell my integrity. My idea of success changed. Instead of wanting to get money to be rich, I started to pursue happiness, and serve the truth, defy the lies, and get willing to be in a place where I was willing to sacrifice anything including my life to stand up for what I believe in.
When I made this decision, life got simple. It was easy for me to determine what people were good for me, and what people I needed to cut of my life. In business, I found a company and built an organization in to the 1000’s to watch it fall apart by some unscrupulous people. Then I got in to another company, built it in to the 1000’s again to watch it fall apart one more time by some unscrupulous people. I have learned now more than ever that no matter what someone says to you, the only way you can really judge them is by their actions. I have been sold the world by people. People I’ve been in business with have promised me the world and were really nice to me up until the time I disagreed with them. Perry P. was right all along. I should have only judged by actions, trusted my gut an intuition, but that’s been hard to navigate when your young or new at something or trusting in the success of the edified people. Regardless of the inequalities that I have felt, and putting behind all of the times that I have been lied to, or stabbed in the back in my personal and professional life, no one can say I was dishonest. No one can say that I told lies or mislead people with malicious intent. Basically, through thick and thin and like Perry, and all my other mentors, I remained honorable.
I am at another one of those transitional times in my career. It’s exciting to me because I know things I didn’t know before and I am finally going to get a chance to prove myself. In order to see if you outgrew your Sensei or guru, you must challenge them, if you win, than your right, you became better, more enlightened, but if you lose, you’re a fool. So if your going to go at it alone, you must be ready to accept all of the consequences that come with it, and further more be ready to humble yourself if you did in fact bite off more than you can chew. In my case, I’m as ready as I’ll ever be in this moment and it’s time to start a new chapter. This is the only moment I have, my conscience is clear, my side of the street is clean and I’m ready to put a dent in the world!
Today, Im a free agent again. I am young, single, healthy, well-educated and street smart. I know more now than I ever have before in my life. To me, I have found true serenity in the way I live because I realize that despite all of the injustice in the world and all of the suffering, I choose to be a part of the solution. NO ONE GETS A WAY WITH ANYTHING, eventually the world has a way of correcting the imbalances.
I will be giving a really big update this week, so stay tuned to this blog, I’m going to change the world, and I’m taking as many people who want to go with me.
Do you ever think that you were meant for so much more than what you are currently doing?
Throughout my life I have found that most people have a large gap between what they want to be and
A Shit Sandwich
who they are. Most time, these people fall in to one of two categories of why they believe their life isn’t where they want it to be:
1. They make excuses. They are simply unwilling to admit that the reason why they aren’t where they want to be is due to some life circumstance, or some kind of outside force that is preventing them to achieve what they would like to do or accomplish.
2. They have become so ingrained in their daily routine and patterns that they have either forgotten their dreams all together or simply have accepted the fact that they may never come to fruition. Almost as if they missed it, or it wasn’t in the cards for them in this life.
Over the years I have had the opportunity to hang out and learn from some incredible individuals. People whom at one point in my life I thought to be inaccessible by me. I used to be scared when I was in the presence of such greatness and success because I felt so below them, so far away from what they had accomplished in their lives. As time went on and I gained more confidence in myself personally and professionally, interacting with these people became easier. One day it clicked and I realized that no matter how famous or well put together the man or woman standing in front of me was, they, like me were human. They ate, slept, and put clothes on the same way that I did. At times in their careers, they too struggled and failed miserably. They experienced love, loss, sadness, victory and all of the other emotions that I too had felt.
I realized that no one, and I mean no one is untouchable or immune to life. The only difference that I experienced among the haves and have-nots was their reaction to what life threw at them. When life hands you a shit sandwich, some people refuse to eat it, and avoid it at all costs even when it means that by not eating it, they will never realize their dreams. The shit sandwich is a metaphor that I have come to use when trying to explain the hardships of life. Successful people, eat the fucking sandwich, and they eat it quickly because they realize that if you are going to get anywhere in life that has some substantial value, that there is no way to avoid eating some shit sandwiches and the faster you just eat it and get it over with, the closer you are to where your going. Not to mention all the time and energy that is wasted complaining and dreading about doing some hard things one doesn’t like to do. Bottom line is that a shit sandwich already sucks and is disgusting; now imagine waiting days, weeks or months to eat it, and how much more disgusting that sandwich is going to be when you finally come to the inevitable realization that in order to move forward, you must eat it.
Successful people are never victims, they take bad things happening in stride building the muscle of resilience knowing and having faith that no matter how bad things may seem, they will always get better if you are willing to work for it and persevere through bad times.
To win is a choice, to lose is a choice, and the outcome has nothing to do with circumstances, it comes down to who was more willing to set aside their circumstances and excuses to beat the person who chose to be a victim of those things.
To me, I feel like I have gotten so good at dealing with shit happening and tacking it up as just a standard and normal part of life it’s almost as if a shit sandwich doesn’t even phase me. I look at it, I mentally prepare, and then I eat it quickly so I can get back to having fun. I refuse to let it ruin my day or waste any more time than it has too.
Mastering this skill has become one of my greatest strengths, without it, I would not be where I am at today. Anyone can be happy when everything is going well, but the people I respect and want to align myself with are the people who can keep calm and focused with a positive mental attitude when things a falling apart all around them and it’s raining shit sandwiches.
It’s not everyday that someone writes about their experience with you, let alone quotes your book that you wrote. When my friend Derek sent me this paper he wrote for his College Psychology Class, I was honored and felt I should share it. Here it is….. Enjoy
Steven E. Wolf
We all seem to have a hero, mentor or leader that we follow throughout our life. No matter what the situation may be we always try to put ourselves in their shoes to make ethical and moral decisions. Steven E. Wolf is a serial entrepreneur, leader and mentor that has changed many people’s lives. He has changed the mind-set of young entrepreneurs and the direction our generation is going in within business and life. Compared with other leaders, Mr. Wolf has impacted the climate around him, created change, impacted group behaviors both good and bad, created and fixed conflict, and impacted the overall performance and development of the groups he is currently engaged in.
Adapting to climate and change is very important in today’s society. Change happens every day and climate that we are engulfed in changes very rapidly as well. Steve Wolf manages change before it’s too late by educating himself, high expectations, making alternative plans, and always re-creating the mission. Steve follows Peter Carruther’s concept when it comes to setting an outcome goal and never turning back until it is accomplished (Garfield, 1987). When some people think of change they tend to put a wall up and try to avoid it. Change is something we all have to learn to deal with and align ourselves with in order to stay within the trends of our environment. Steve understands the rapid changes taking place today, and re-sets his goals and mind-set in order to maximize his performance to gain bigger results. Our climates also become unfamiliar when change occurs, so Steve learns to adapt quickly, relay the message, and bring along his followers. There have been negative climates that Mr. Wolf has created in the past; which caused things to change in a negative way. He was made aware of his mistakes and re-focused, planned, and executed his plan to create a positive climate for his groups (Garfield, 1987).
Group behaviors can change very fast and that is why Steve is one of the leaders that have had success when it comes to creating high impact groups. He understands the impact that his behaviors can have on the people around him. One negative behavior by a leader can trickle down the line throughout the group and cause negative behaviors within the entire group. When comparing Steve Wolf’s behaviors to the leaders in Peak Performance, Aldous Huxley talks about how peak performers handle bad situations or situations that may be too difficult to overcome, but those that are peak performers do whatever it takes to overcome the problem or situation (Garfield, 1987). Steve Wolf always mentions this when he works with groups, and his behavior is correlated to the group’s behaviors. He doesn’t allow conflict to get in the way of pursuing his dreams, and he makes that clear to his groups so they continue to perform at high levels even during conflict. As Steve creates intrapersonal relationships, dedicates time to his work, motivates others, consistently pushing forward, and always setting the example this will have a positive impact on his group’s behavioral habits, overall performance, and organizational conflict (Steven E. Wolf, 2013).
One of Wolf’s strengths is empowering others to produce results; which gains him power. When others produce results Steve knows they are serious. Helping them to develop into peak performers is his main goal, and his leadership ability will help them gain power. His impact is large when it comes to developing a high performing organization. He has had success in many areas that still produce him results. Steve understands the importance of creating a culture that is diverse, cohesive, and confident in their abilities to produce results. Our Nation is leading the world in teamwork and the development of organizations, and Steve Wolf is right there on the upward slope to success. Compared to Maslows Theory Z, Steve’s philosophy on sustaining performance is right on track. He instills confidence and motivation in others to boost their self-esteem and gives them enough knowledge to understand that they are part of a group that needs their skills, abilities, and leadership (Garfield, 1987). Communicating his philosophies to the group enables them to develop into a cohesive team, become better people all aspects of life, and reach peak performance levels. Steven E. Wolf (2013) writes, So the moral of the story is make sure your peer group is one of influence, and that they are a group that is willing to push you and can help get your foot in the door in to areas where you want to be successful, have a great day everyone (p.1).
Many World leaders are looked at as peak performers that are always creating new ideas, and producing new results. That is the path that Mr. Wolf is taking, and won’t give up until he is 100% satisfied with his footprint on this Earth. He has become a peak performer through team work, education, self-mastery, motivation, confidence, and setting goals. Steve has learned to adapt in many different environments, cultures, and climates. His philosophy of perseverance, reaching his dreams, and never giving up on dreams has gotten him to where he is today. The most crucial part to reaching his peak performance has been his ability to plan, evaluate and executive his process, performance, and outcome goals (Garfield, 1987).
Compared to other leaders in the book Peak Performance, Steve Wolf is top of the list. His success so far at such a young age is tremendous, and he will only continue to develop into a better leader. Wolf has made a major impact on the climate around him, created many changes, impacted group behaviors, created and fixed conflicts, and impacted the overall performance and development of the groups he is a part of. Steven E. Wolf (2013) quotes, No path to success is linear; in fact, it’s an incredulous journey of peaks and valleys that is painful at times and downright unbearable at others. That is what my mentors taught me, and I have never forgotten it (p.1).
References
Garfield, C. (1987). Peak Performers: The New Heroes of American Business. New York, NY:
Garfield Enterprises.
Wolf, S.E. (2013). The young entrepreneurs guide to life: Unlocking the mystery to your
success. 2nd Edition.
It is things like this that keep me doing what I’m doing. Thanks Derek, you’re a good friend and I am honored to be a positive part of your life!
